what day is it and did you see me today?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
