4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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