He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
