Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
