Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
