just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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