There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize