I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I AM VODKA MAN
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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