OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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