Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
