I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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