apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
