You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hello my rib-scented angel!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
