Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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