No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
