You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
