Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
