lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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