I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
