I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
