I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize