Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just cropdusted the office
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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