There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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