the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
