She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
