I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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