Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is the high leading the old right now
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
