nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
