Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize