he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
