Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
