Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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