just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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