bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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