I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
