So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
