i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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