So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
