Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
