Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
