They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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