**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
