the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What a dumb baby whore.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
