That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I want a musical about memes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
