I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
