I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
