The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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