Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
