wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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