My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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