so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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