Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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