I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
