does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need a beard to bite.
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