So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
from now on my penis is your penis
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
