I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize