Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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